Is This Why You’re Still Exhausted After Birth?

If you’re weeks into life with your new baby and still feel utterly exhausted, foggy-headed, or like you’re barely holding it together, let me tell you something important straight away: you are not failing, and you are not alone. As someone who has spent years supporting new mothers and families both within the NHS and in private practice as a doula, I’ve seen this pattern time and time again. That lingering post-birth exhaustion – emotional, physical, mental – is not a sign you’re not doing enough. It’s often a sign that you’re doing too much with too little help.

We have made huge advances in maternity care, but postnatal support continues to be one of the most overlooked aspects of the entire pregnancy and birth journey. The focus so often ends the moment baby is delivered. What comes next is quietly assumed to be something the mother simply “gets on with.” But that model just doesn’t work – not for the mum, not for the baby, and not for the family as a whole.

In this post, I want to explain why that exhaustion runs deeper than just sleepless nights, and how proper postnatal help – whether from a doula, a midwife, or another support network – can be transformative in helping you feel like you again.

The Myth of Bouncing Back

Modern culture has done a poor job of setting realistic expectations for recovery after birth. We are surrounded by headlines and social media posts of celebrities in jeans a week after giving birth, smiling newborn photoshoots, and the narrative that “motherhood is magical.” And yes, it can be magical. But it can also be messy, relentless, scary, isolating, and physically draining.

According to research by The Baby Show and parenting site MadeForMums, more than 60% of UK mums say they felt unprepared for the emotional toll of motherhood in the weeks after birth. And around 30% said they didn’t feel supported enough in the early postnatal period. That’s a huge number of women feeling under-supported at one of the most vulnerable times of their lives.

What’s Really Making You So Tired?

Let’s talk about what contributes to that bone-deep fatigue so many mums experience in the postpartum phase. It’s not just about waking up at 2am for a feed – although yes, that’s a big part of it.

• Physical recovery: Even the smoothest birth takes a toll on your body. If you’ve had stitches, a C-section, or any complications, your body is undergoing major repair.
• Hormonal shifts: Your hormones plummet after birth, particularly oestrogen and progesterone, which can leave you feeling depleted and teary.
• Adrenaline crash: The birth process often involves a huge adrenaline surge. Afterward, your body crashes – and you can feel completely wiped out.
• Feeding demands: Whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, it’s exhausting. Cluster feeding, pumping, sterilising – it all adds up.
• Emotional load: Worry, guilt, decision-making, lack of confidence, and sheer overwhelm all sap your energy.
• Lack of consistent support: This is the one that ties it all together. When you’re left to manage all of the above with minimal or inconsistent help, burnout is inevitable.

The Power of Postnatal Support

This is where postnatal support comes in. Whether it’s provided by a doula, a close friend with experience, or a trained professional, having someone who understands the realities of the postnatal period makes a world of difference.

As a doula, my role is to walk alongside you in the weeks after birth, offering emotional reassurance, practical help, and a calm, non-judgemental presence. I’ve supported countless mums who were at breaking point – sleep-deprived, sore, anxious – and I’ve seen how quickly things begin to shift once they feel heard, held, and helped.

Postnatal help isn’t about someone coming in and taking over. It’s about you being supported so that you can focus on bonding with your baby, healing your body, and regaining your confidence as a new mum.

What Does Postnatal Help Actually Look Like?

Every family is different, but here are some of the common things I help with:

• Light household tasks that feel overwhelming (laundry, dishes, tidying)
• Newborn care tips (bathing, soothing techniques, sleep routines)
• Feeding support (breast, bottle, combination feeding guidance)
• Emotional check-ins and reassurance
• Looking after the baby while you nap or shower
• Signposting to local services if needed (lactation consultants, physios, mental health services)

This kind of support might sound simple on paper, but when you’re deep in the postpartum fog, it can be the thing that gets you through the day. When someone makes you a hot cup of tea, holds your baby while you eat with both hands, or tells you “you’re doing brilliantly,” it makes a tangible difference.

Why Doulas Aren’t Just for Birth

Many people associate the word doula with birth support. And while birth doulas are wonderful, it’s important to know that postnatal doulas are just as valuable – if not more so, depending on your circumstances.

A postpartum doula doesn’t replace midwifery care, but we fill in the gaps. In the NHS, community midwives work incredibly hard, but their time is stretched thin. After the initial days following birth, many new mums are left without ongoing contact. That’s where I come in. I offer continuity, personal attention, and the time and space to talk through everything that’s going on – at your pace.

Research shows that postnatal support has measurable benefits too. According to the National Childbirth Trust (NCT), consistent postnatal help can lead to better breastfeeding outcomes, reduced risk of postnatal depression, and increased maternal confidence. You can find more information on this from the NCT website.

But I Should Be Able to Manage on My Own… Right?

No. That’s a myth, and it’s a dangerous one. Humans are not meant to parent in isolation. In many cultures, postnatal help is seen as essential. In parts of Asia and Latin America, the mother is cared for intensely for the first 40 days while she rests, recovers, and bonds. Meals are prepared, visitors are limited, and her only job is to nurture her baby and herself.

In Britain, however, we have normalised this idea that independence means strength – even if it comes at the cost of maternal wellbeing. But there is no prize for struggling in silence. Accepting help is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

How to Know If You Need More Support

If you’re wondering whether postnatal help is something you need, ask yourself the following:

• Am I regularly overwhelmed by basic daily tasks?
• Do I feel tearful, anxious, or low most days?
• Is feeding becoming stressful, painful, or confusing?
• Do I often feel isolated or unsure what to do?
• Am I getting any meaningful time to rest and recover?

If the answer to any of these is yes, then please know there are people who can help – and I am one of them. You don’t need to hit crisis point before reaching out.

A Better Way Forward

Imagine what it would feel like to go through these first weeks with someone in your corner. Someone who checks in with you each day, who notices when you’re not quite yourself, and who gently guides you through the big and small challenges. That’s what postnatal support is. It’s the thing that too many new parents only discover when they’re already overwhelmed.

I can’t promise to make those sleepless nights disappear. But I can help you navigate them with more confidence, calm, and clarity. I’ll remind you that you’re doing enough, that you are enough, and that your wellbeing matters just as much as your baby’s.

Final Thoughts

If you’re still feeling exhausted, weeks after giving birth, you’re not just “tired.” You’re carrying the full emotional, physical, and mental load of new parenthood – likely with very little support. And that’s not sustainable.

You don’t have to do this alone. Postnatal help exists for a reason. As a doula, I’m here to offer exactly that – friendly, flexible, one-to-one support that’s tailored to your needs, right when you need it most. Whether it’s your first baby or your third, this chapter deserves to be met with care, compassion, and practical help. You deserve to feel supported. You deserve to rest. And you absolutely deserve to thrive in this new season of life.

If any of this resonates with you, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Let’s make sure your postnatal experience is one you feel good about – not one you just “survived.”